Overheard at Dalton
by Miss Carmilla
Summary: An unsuspecting Warbler stops by Blaine's dorm room and overhears something he was never meant to overhear.  Silly one-shot.  Now updated to a two-shot!
1. It'll Be Better If I Do It

David had honestly not intended to eavesdrop. He'd found Blaine's History notebook in the common room, and since exams were coming up he figured he'd better return it ASAP. He was about to knock on Blaine's dorm room door when he heard voices inside.

"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this, Kurt."

"Why not? Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you. But it seems weird, like I'm taking advantage of you."

"Blaine, I want to do this, and you need it. You know you do."

"Yeah, but I can take care of things on my own. I mean, that's what I usually do."

"It'll be better if I do it. You're stressed out about midterms. Besides, I have more experience."

"Oh really?"

"Since I was eleven."

"Eleven? Wow."

"Not that I had a lot to work with then." Kurt sighed. "Still don't, to be honest."

"Aw, I like yours."

"I do my best with what I've got. But you, dear boy, were blessed by Mother Nature."

"You know, I actually had no idea what to do with mine until I was fourteen."

"That is the saddest thing I've ever heard," said Kurt.

Blaine laughed. "I was totally clueless. I didn't figure it out until I started looking at stuff on the Internet."

"I wish I'd known you then. I could have helped you out."

"I wish you'd known me then too."

"Well, let's make up for lost time."

"Do you really want to?"

"I do. I really, truly do."

David knew it was wrong to keep listening. What Blaine and Kurt did together in private was their own business. But things were starting to get interesting, and it wouldn't hurt to listen a little longer.

"Should I just sit here like this?" Blaine asked.

"Lean back a little. Good."

"Your hands are so soft."

"Thanks. I can't believe how thick your—Blaine, I can't do this if you look at me like that."

It was quiet for a moment, then David heard a yelp.

"Did I pinch you? I'm so sorry," Kurt said.

"It's okay."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No, keep going."

Silence again, broken only by two short gasps.

"Do you want to know a secret?" Kurt asked.

"Hmm?"

"I've been wanting to do this since the day we met."

This actually didn't surprise David, but Blaine said "Really?"

"I kept thinking about what I'd do if I ever got my hands on you. Ah, there we go. No, let me get that. Okay. So, how did I do?"

"Wow. Kurt, you are amazing."

"I try."

"I mean it. You could be a professional."

"That's what my stepmother said the other night. We tried to get Finn to let me do him too, but he kind of freaked out."

This was now officially too weird for David. He'd see Blaine in the dining hall for dinner, he could give him the notebook then. He might not be able to look him in the eye, but he could give him the notebook. He checked to make sure no one was around and ran for the exit, promising himself he'd never eavesdrop again.

Blaine looked in the mirror again. "I honestly think this is the best my eyebrows have ever looked."

"What did I tell you? I am great at plucking."


	2. Definitely Against the Rules

Jeff had been stuck on his trigonometry homework for a while. Maybe Blaine could help him, Blaine was good at math. He walked up the hall to Blaine's door, but paused when he heard Kurt's voice coming from inside the room.

"Blaine, I understand. I've thought about it too. I've actually thought about it a lot, but I'm pretty sure it's against the rules."

"Oh, it is definitely against the rules," Blaine said. "If you lived in the dorms you'd have heard the lecture too. It's a stupid rule, though. And believe me, plenty of guys here have done it before."

"I don't want you to get in trouble, though. I'm also a little concerned about the logistics."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not sure there's room for it down there."

"There is totally room for it. I told you, plenty of guys have done this before."

"And were any of them seriously injured?" Kurt asked.

"You're just being morbid now."

"I'm being sensible."

"Look Kurt, if you don't want to do this then we won't do it. I don't ever want to push you into anything that makes you uncomfortable. We can leave things the way they are."

"But you're not happy with the way things are."

"Well, I—"

Kurt cut him off. "So let's do it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Although I have to say, I'm a little surprised that you don't want to be on top."

Jeff couldn't make out Blaine's response, but whatever it was made Kurt giggle. He could hear the two boys moving around inside the room, mumbling voices, and then someone discreetly clearing his throat. Wait, that last one sounded like it came from...right behind him.

Jeff turned around. "Oh! Hi David! I was just..."

"You were just eavesdropping, huh?" The senior Warbler gave him a stern look.

"Um, kind of."

"Let me guess. Is Kurt visiting?"

From inside the room came some very interesting thumping sounds, accompanied by much creaking (as from a bedframe), and squeaking (as from bedsprings), and grunting (as from two boys exerting themselves).

Jeff felt himself blushing. "Yeah, I, uh, was coming to ask Blaine to help me with my trig homework and I heard them. Talking, I mean!"

"Warbler Blaine has a right to his privacy. And trust me, you're better off respecting that right." David shook his head and added, "There are some things you just don't need to know about your friends."

"I guess that's true."

David gave him a pat on the shoulder. "See you at practice, okay?"

Jeff nodded and walked back down the hall to the door to his own room. He could hear David walking in the opposite direction, towards the staircase. Jeff took out his keys, unlocked his door, and turned to look if David was gone yet. The older boy was nowhere to be seen.

Jeff crept back to Blaine's door. He knew he was a terrible, awful person for doing this, but he was just so _curious_.

"Kurt, stop," Blaine gasped. "Give me a second here."

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I just got into a weird position and it was hurting my back. Okay, this is better."

"Ready?" Kurt asked.

"Yes."

There was a pause, and then Jeff heard Blaine's voice again. "Almost there, almost there!"

Another thump and a kind of gasping sigh.

"Is that good?" Kurt asked.

"Perfect. Kurt, you are the best boyfriend in the world."

"Don't you forget it. Hmm, you're all sweaty. Are you worn out?"

"Well, I couldn't do that again in a hurry," Blaine said. "But I'm not too tired for _this_."

Jeff heard Kurt squeal and decided it was time to tiptoe away. He was glad his friends were having fun, but he felt bad about listening in. Bad, and a little...confused. He wasn't sure he'd be able to focus on his trig homework anymore tonight.

Inside Blaine's room, Kurt rolled over to escape from the tickling. "Stop it Blaine, I'm going to fall off the bed!"

"Well, at least it won't be as far to fall now," Blaine grinned. He stood up and pulled his t-shirt away from his armpits. "Phew, I guess I did get pretty sweaty. How come you didn't?"

"I don't sweat, I glow," Kurt purred. "Do you think your roommate will mind?"

"Nah, he's cool. He probably won't even notice."

"He won't notice that you don't have bunkbeds anymore?"

Blaine laughed. "Trust me, he's not the most observant guy. I've seen him searching around for a tie when one's already around his neck."

"I hope no one heard us."

"Don't worry about it. The rules are one thing, but as far as the other guys go everyone basically agrees that what you do with your own bed is your business."

* * *

><p><em>AN: This one was very loosely inspired by my own experience living in a dormitory. It was against the rules to bunk or unbunk dorm beds, it could only be done by the housekeeping staff and only at the beginning of the semester. Lots of students clandestinely moved things around on their own, despite the rules.<em>


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